2023 Paintings

S(Mother)

2023 Oil on canvas

46" x 50"

As a woman, the way I behave and express myself is shaped by the cultures I was brought up in. Gender roles, characteristics and activities are not innate, but are socially constructed. As a Mother I am also influenced by my own Mother, both the good and the not so good. S(Mother) came about from thinking about the overwhelming desire to hold on to one’s children but knowing it is not the right thing to do. In my painting I am hunched upon my daughters back, trying to hold on to something that is fleeting, knowing this is wrong. My grip is not tight and she seems largely unbothered but her face has turned away as she seeks her own path. This is how it is supposed to be, children should go out into the world and find their way. But as a Mother, the feelings are conflicted. Further, as my role changes, it contracts and expands in time with the passing years and responsibilities. I simultaneously find myself trying to deny my aging but also wanting to reconcile and make peace with the inevitable changes to my constructed female role. This painting contemplates these transitions and examines ideas around Mothering, femininity, beauty, gender, age and intimacy. My work begins with second hand clothes; I search for garments that offer a history or a counterpoint and my models are the women in my life. I am using myself as a model and along with my daughter I am seeking overlooked details and intimacies that are only revealed through long and careful observation. My paintings are quiet and my palette subdued, in an effort to open an honest dialogue -

hopefully with my viewer but ultimately with myself.